So Christmas is over again for another year and my waistline is just beginning to return to its usual size of family pack as opposed to super-size pack after a festive season of excess (the six pack is an already fading New Years resolution). Christmas has a standard format for me and my wife; back to the UK to see the family and friends. Despite the expanding waistline and spending a fortune, most of which seemed to be on parking fees, we had a good time. But there would appear to be a new addition to our family/friends Christmas; the Nintendo Wii. “Uncle Andy, would you like to come and watch me play on the Wii?” How could I refuse?
For those of you who do not know, or like me, are not interested, a Wii is a computer game console that allows you to take a more active role in a computer game. For example by moving the game controller in your hand you can play tennis and “hit” the ball on screen. The rationale being that you can get fit by playing computer games. In fact I read that some education authorities were considering using them to give some non-sporting, overweight kids some exercise. All well and good, but in some households it would appear, the whole day revolves around the Wii. I am sure that some families will ask themselves “what did we talk about before we had a Wii?” I must confess they can be fun. I speak as the victor of a marathon tennis game at 1 am against my friend Glen when we were both very drunk. Well we were drunk until the desire to win kicked-in.
But my Wii experience did not start well, which could explain why I am a bit anti them. My first game was Beach Cricket against a 6 year old boy called Reggie, the son of my friends sister. In this game you bowl and then bat for 2 overs. Displayed on the screen you see the batsman and the bowling running up to bowl. As you bowl a little power-meter shows how quickly you are bowling. So I “bowled” the first ball. The power-meter showed maximum power. Reggie moved the controller 1 millimetre sending the ball flying for six runs. “What does that mean Andy? Is that good” he asked. “Yes, well done that was good” Four more sixes later I finished bowling; things were not going well for me. Reggie bowled next. The power-meter showed a ball bowled at the slowest speed possible. I swiped at it with all my power to see an on-screen message saying “Too slow” and my wickets on the floor. “What does that mean Andy?” asked Reggie. “It means you are winning” I answered through now gritted teeth. I will not take you through every ball (it’s too painful) but Reggie kicked my butt. Although he had no idea how he had won or indeed any of the rules of cricket he was not too smug about his victory. The next day however, revenge was sweet but I could hardly bring myself to look at his tear-stained face as he struggled to master crazy golf and I holed the final putt.
Our UK tour took in three more consoles and I played amongst other games Lego Batman (I was Robin) and Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey in which me and my god daughter Isabelle were fairies (with magic wands!) and had to solve some puzzles to help various Disney Princesses. Oh come on. I was simply playing a game with my god daughter! So, on the whole I am not a Wii fan. In fact I showed my nephews that instead of running with the controller in their hand to achieve jogging in the Wii fit game, they could just slump on the sofa and wiggle the controller around to achieve the same thing.
What ever happened to real entertainment? By asking that question I am aware that I sold like a grumpy old man. In fact I can confirm that I am turning into my dad. Spending time with him in January validated my wife’s theory, but as she constantly points out, she is always right. Anyway, as I was saying, entertainment… when we were in Aberdeenshire, our friends took us to our first céilidh (pronounced Kay-lee) which is a traditional social dance. This took place at Lonach Hall in Strathdon. It was a freezing night as we arrived with the temperature nudging minus 10. But inside the hall after a few Tennants lagers we began to warm up. The hall started to fill and one of the locals, Pamela Stephenson, wife of comedian Billy Connolly walked in. I was later informed Billy was there too, but remained by the entrance chatting. Anyway I would not have seen him as I was too busy whirling round the dance floor.
I must confess that when our friends told us we were going and that it would be fun I had my doubts. How wrong was I? We started off with the Gay Gordons, with instructions called out by the keyboard player of the band. The band was excellent and apparently the fiddle player Jonny Hardie is well known in this musical arena. After the first few dances the night is a bit of a blur, involving lots of complicated dances each faster than the last. All of the other dancers were very tolerant of the Sassenach regularly bumping into them and treading on their feet. At the end, despite the freezing weather outside most people were glowing with sweat on their faces. My friend had come prepared and had a towel and a spare shirt. It would have been nice of this was mentioned to me, as when we left the hall the cold wind seemed even more bitter.
I would totally recommend trying a céilidh and me and my wife we even discussed arranging one in Spain. See kids, THAT is entertainment. And at only £10 per ticket it works out a hell of a lot cheaper than a Wii!
