A lot of couples share everything which is great, but others like to leave the big decisions to one partner, and the smaller ones with the other one. How many times have you heard, 'Oh, he/she deals with all that', followed by an airy wave of the hand?
When the sun is shining and there are activities and bars to keep one occupied, a visit from the 'grim reaper' is never much thought about. Oh!, you joke about it with friends, especially after a couple of pints when someone hears a song and says, 'I want this at my funeral', and everyone joins in a jolly discussion!
Now that Winter is here, perhaps its time to seriously talk to your partner, about what will happen when the day arrives, and as sure as day turns to night, this will happen to all couples.
The one left behind has all the clearing up to do. I am talking paperwork, not goods.
Initially you need to know if there is a funeral plan and do you know where the plastic card is? Did your partner want a cremation, or burial? Can you put your hands on the wills? Do you have up to date phone numbers for informing private pension companies, state pension, the social security number and maybe mother's maiden name! Nie Number. House paperwork. The list is endless.
How do you know if you qualify for a state funeral benefit. ( Google it) Will the estate have to go to probate in the UK, and where is the solicitor you used in Spain and also in the UK? So many things to do and think about. And on a cold night, why not get to grips with the paperwork.
After a while there are the other difficulties to overcome, the electricity, telephone, internet etc, and all local bills. If the bills are in the name of the deceased, I would make a suggestion that you get someone to phone these companies on your behalf. Its very stressful having to explain you have lost a partner. The same applies to the car paperwork, which will need changing, if its not in your name. The Spanish love i paperwork!
A couple of people have asked me to write this and I speak from experience. I thought I was 'on the case' but when the time came, I had no idea about my husband's passwords. Luckily my sons worked them out, poking around and experimenting with different dates etc..
I did the day to day bill payments, cash withdrawals, credit and debit card telephone calls. I knew where the paperwork was stored, in two huge cases, which still held 40 year old pay slips and P60s. The paperwork from Spain was in better order in another ancient suitcase. Knowing where the papers are, is not the same as knowing which ones are needed. It took days to wade through the paperwork before I found the relevant papers for pensions, investments etc.
The rest I soaked in several baths of cold water, and put the pulp in bin bags. I didn’t have a shredder!
Another true story is of a retired couple who did most things together. He looked healthy, shopped most days, and made the large decisions. His wife didn't get out much on her own, as she had trouble walking, but apart from that was healthy. Then quite suddenly he became forgetful, and eventually was diagnosed with the start of dementia. He unexpectedly had a heart attack and died leaving the widow, knowing exactly where the wills were. She went to the place. found the envelope, only to discover the wills were not there. He had obviously put them in a safe place, whilst confused. They have not been found to this day.
My apologies for such a sad subject on this Winter's day. But I felt it needed to be out there, because it affects quite a lot of Retirees.
