Extracts from the best selling book "In the Garlic" by Valerie Collins and Theresa O'Shea Stay a while in Spain, and beyond the sunshine, fiestas, Rioja and laidbackness you may find yourself drifting in an uncharted ocean of unwritten laws, linguistic minefields and mysterious quirks. You need to be In the Garlic – en el ajo – in the know.
Caja de ahorros The savings bank, or cajas, most of which are regionally based, provide the same services (and lousy interest rates) as banks. However they do not have shareholders, but are legally constituted as non-profit foundations and return a large part of their profits to society via their obra social (social, educational, scientific and cultural projects) and still manage to be richer than banks.
Cementerio The Spanish add a whole new dimension to the meaning of bury (put in a hole and cover). When you die, in many cemeteries you are “buried” above ground in one of hundreds of niches set in a multi-storey wall. The penthouse niches and the ones two inches from the ground are the cheapest as tending them requires either risking life and limb up a municipal ladder or scrabbling around on your hands and knees on the concrete. Life on the other side may last all eternity, but your earthly resting place will probably be somewhat briefer. Due to lack of space, especially in urban cemeteries, most niches are rented not sold and, depending on the municipality, you may find yourself out on what's left of your ear only a few years after your burial. After that time, your relations must renew the lease, or dispose of your remains as they see fit, or else let you join everyone else who's been turfed out into a common grav
Chorizo The famous spicy sausage is inextricably linked in our minds with the petty thief, small time crook or yob, which has spawned the verb chorizar, to swipe, nick, pinch. What has a spicy sausage got to do with pinching someone else's gear? Nothing, according to our research: the second meaning of chorizo originates from the gypsy word chori, a petty thief, but seems to have been influenced by the existing chorizo and finally assimilated by it. Chorizo, the sausage, is made of pork and cured using Spanish paprika, which gives a deep red color and rich smoky flavor
Comunidad de propietarios Owners' association. When you buy your urban-dream penthouse or bijou apartment, congrats: you are now an owner of a propiedad horizontal (joint freehold, US condo) and, besides paying your share of joint costs, will attend assemblies where mind-numbing rants about blocked drainpipes, cockroach infestations, communal satellite dishes and crumbling facades ignite the basest passions.
Comunidad Autónoma A self-governing region. Spain is divided into 17 comunidades autónomas. Ten of the communities are composed of several provinces, the other seven of just one (Asturias, Baleares, Cantabria, La Rioja, Madrid, Murcia and Navarra)
Cuernos Horns. The phrase “to cuckold someone” fell into disuse centuries ago in English, but the Spanish equivalent, poner los cuernos a alguien (lit. to put the horns on someone) is very much alive and thrusting. As is the horn gesture, made with the index finger and little finger, to suggest that your partner is cheating on you, or may be about to do so.
In the Garlic: Your Informative, Fun Guide to Spain is published by Santana and is available at all good book shops (ISBN 13:978-84-89954-59-5)
