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This match had the potential to be a tough one as The Victoria are one of the top teams in the FA League. Of course, being bottom and with only four teams in the league then every match is a tough one for us. As the league was getting close to its conclusion with only two matches left after this one, competition for the top spot was fierce. It didn’t involve us of course. Or did it? |
Apparently, one of our team members was now being emailed by members of the other teams giving advice on how we could beat our next opponents and which players to look out for. We may have been bottom of the league but in a bizarre way we were now the team to watch and we held the ultimate power as to how things might end up. The problem was it required us to win matches and take points off the others and therein lay the dilemma. Oddly enough, when this was put to me I do now remember a conversation with an opponent in Torrox Costa prior to one match as I collected our daily newspapers for the shop. He gave me advice on how to play one of the other team’s players by nipping him and generally being a nuisance. Apparently, he would eventually lose it with the rest of his team and his game would go to pot. After the cash changed hands in the familiar brown envelope I said I would do what I could, made my excuses and made a swift departure back up to Cómpeta. Needless to say the guy discussed didn’t play in the game in question and as I took the cash maybe there’s a price on my head. I’m sure it won’t be much!
We met at our usual rendezvous point at the Cómpeta viewpoint and as usual a few of the lads had gone off to collect our Spanish keeper, Curro. They came back empty handed as Curro had gone AWOL. As Damian was having a weekend in Marbella we were struggling for a keeper. It was up to Sam to step up to the mark and be the shot stopper for the match. And stepping up he would have to do as he is not exactly the tallest member of the team. Maybe we could conceal some stilts for him. Stu was also unavailable as apparently he had been up all night sick. More like he didn’t like the hour less in bed as the clocks had gone forward.
Our kick off time was 10.30am and it was a hot, sunny day. I was a little out of shape as I hadn’t been to the evening sessions at the Cómpeta Campo de Fútbol for a few weeks. I had the excuse of family members visiting and the St Patricks Night on one of the Mondays at The Albaida. However, I had done some fitness training that very night by Cossack dancing to the band, Acoustic Roots, as I made my way from the gents back to my table. It’s a long story but I’m happy to explain another time or you can see an exclusive performance on YouTube. Enough said! Anyway, I’m not out of shape. Round’s a shape, isn’t it?
We kicked off full of confidence as always and with the risk of repeating myself we started well. Early on in the match Samwise Gangee, our hobbit sized keeper, faced an early test as they broke in attack. Their attacker bore down on him (not difficult) and shot for the corner. Sam managed to spread himself and grew to his full height of 5’8” and made a fantastic save, deflecting the ball past the post with his legs. Tony was making a nuisance of himself up front and was creating a few chances. The fact he’d apparently had an early night without a drop of alcohol passing his lips was paying off. He still couldn’t resist the pre-match fag, though, to kick start the old lungs!
Now I could just ‘copy’ and ‘paste’ previous match reports and change the names but it wasn’t long before we were familiarly 1-0 behind; then 2-0 and 3-0! This had the potential to be a whitewash especially as The Victoria had beaten the other favoured side, Blue Sky from Torre del Mar, 5-4 in their last outing.
Tony managed to pull a goal back for us to make it 3-1 but then my crown of ‘Chopper’ was put at risk as Ewan scythed down one of their guys to give away a penalty, which they duly despatched.
We were struggling and despite the fact Sam was in no way at fault as goalkeeper, Tom had made a call earlier to Damian to get his ass to Nerja on his way back from Marbella to get between the sticks. We didn’t care he had had 3 hours sleep, this was serious. He made it with eyes like pin heads and Sam took up his usual position in defence. The effect wasn’t immediate as we went further behind 5-1 before Tony scored his and our second to make it 5-2. It was a team effort although Tony did most of the physical work. I take a little credit of passing him the ball and as their keeper advanced a little too far off his line the shout came from Simon way back in defence to lob their keeper, who like Sam, wasn’t the tallest keeper in the world. It was like the goalkeepers from Middle Earth! Tony duly lobbed him with great finesse. I was still catching my breath from making the pass!
Before the half ended they managed another goal and we went in 6-2 down. Yes, I know, don’t rub it in! It was only half-time. We made substitutions and I came off for Phil, Ewan for Tom and Geoff for Baz. With Ewan and I off the average weight for the team suddenly resembled more like a football team and not the front row of a rugby scrum. With Geoff and I off the age also dropped to that of an up and coming youthful team rather than a charity event with veteran team guests. Although pre-arranged it was perhaps to be a master stroke of tactical genius by someone, especially as I was given the role by one of the SWAGs, Helen, to be official photographer for the second half. The proof is in the pictures that accompany this very article. What do you mean that’s my football and photography career over?!
6-2 down at the start of the second half didn’t look good. However, it wasn’t long before we opened the half with a goal as Sam Fulleylove hit one from distance to beat their keeper; 6-3. Tony was still working hard up front and his endeavours paid off as he was brought down in the box. My chance finally came. No not to come back on and take the penalty but to get behind the goal and get the best goal scoring pic for this article! As Tony stepped up to take the penalty one of our team was sweating and in a strange way hoping he might miss. Simon had promised to buy him a pint if he scored a hat-trick and Tony earned his drink as he made it 6-4. Phil hit a shot from distance which rattled the woodwork and suddenly they were rattled! Could this be the comeback to end all comebacks? Tony managed to get his fourth and suddenly we had turned the game round and it was 6-5. We could sniff an unexpected victory. I was pleased to be playing my part making shot after shot at their goal with the Olympus 1.8 mega pixel camera. I was still managing to miss a few even then!
Damian, despite his lack of sleep was doing heroics in goal as he saved us on numerous occasions. As the game drew to a close our euphoria at getting back into the game got the better of us and unfortunately they managed two more goals and the game ended 8-5. We had to be pleased with our effort as we had lost the 1st half 6-2 but managed to win the 2nd half 3-2. It counted for nothing but we can take the positives from that into our next game, which will have been played by the time you read this.
Without doubt Tony had made the difference up front and gets the Man of the Match award. Well done, Tony. You see what you can do when you stay off the birds and booze prior to a match? George Best managed both but it doesn’t work for everyone!
Personally, I now have an important decision to make before our next match. Do I invest in a new pair of boots or a proper, top of the range sports digital SLR camera?
