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After our 9-1 beating last time out at the San Roque stadium in Torrox, we were back at Nerja playing our fourth match in the FA (Foreigners Abroad) League. We were playing The Victoria FC from Nerja who had been responsible for our 10-1 drubbing in the first match we’d played. It was an earlier kick off than normal as The Victoria boys had to get finished in time to open up their bar in Nerja. Priorities, you see! The kick-off was 10am and after getting my head down at 2.30am it was a tough call! It was also a little early for our keeper, Curro, who had to be woken up by Tom and Valdo apparently by jumping on him! Is it like this in the Premiership? |
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In the January transfer window we had managed to make a new ‘signing’ and had Ewan Campbell from Sedella as an addition to our midfield. Being the tough Scot that he was he was playing with a stitched hand (done with no anaesthetic, of course) and the day before he had prepared for the match by having a tribal tattoo on his foot! Hard as nails this lad. Sleeps on a bed of nails and eats barbed wire for breakfast!
Now I know many of you have shown an interest in what it actually takes to become a finely tuned athlete as was depicted in last month’s article (by the way, Ronaldo of Real Madrid once said when the press had a go for his apparent weight gain, that it was the white shirt that gave the illusion! I can back him on that one!!) so here’s a taster (no pun intended!) of my pre-match diet care of Cortijo Paco’s.
Starter – Smoked salmon and langostine salad
Main Course – Spicy lamb koftas with rice (note the healthy option of rice with the added benefit of carbohydrate)
Sweet – Chocolate cookie ice cream
As always I find the odd bottle of wine (1,3,5,7…etc!) to wash it all down does help you get a good night’s sleep!
The match kicked off a little late and UEFA Rule 109(a) (xxii) was applied, which reads, “If, due to the late kick off of a match, the local bar is likely to open late and, in the official’s opinion, could result in local unrest, the official has the discretion to reduce the duration of play”. We were to play two halves of approximately 40 minutes!
As always we had a good following of SWAGs, as they prefer to be called and family members packing out the terraces and they were in good voice. Our gaffer, Damian, was celebrating his birthday and we were hoping to make sure we made it a good one for him with a victory. In addition we did see a demonstration of the ‘Archez Wave’, which is a bit like a Mexican Wave except it’s done with about 10 people!
We started well and, despite a few attacks on our goal, our keeper Curro was equal to it with a few good saves and heroic dives at the feet of their forwards. He didn’t seem too traumatised by having two blokes jump on him to get him out of bed!
The half was evenly matched and our new signing, Ewan, was giving a good account of himself in midfield. Money well spent in the transfer market! We had a free kick, following one of Ewan’s attacking runs, just outside their box, which was narrowly put over the bar by Phil McEvoy. Shortly after, we got a corner and it was my turn to venture into their penalty area to add some height to the attack. I don’t often get that far up the field despite playing in midfield. Normally, by the time I get there if we’re attacking, the ball’s on its way back to our end. In some cases it has been known for me to finally reach their penalty area only for the ref to have blown for full time and everyone to have gone home!!
As the corner was taken I managed to rise majestically above their defence (in the same way an overweight giraffe would be majestic if you dropped it on a trampoline and watch it rebound with all legs splaying!), get my head on the ball and to finally land and see the ball in the back of the net! For that split second I thought I’d got my first goal for Archez/Cómpeta before the ref blew for an infringement! Apparently, he reckoned I’d pushed their defender in the back as I jumped for the ball! Come on, it was only a slight push! A man of my seniority needs a little help to get off the ground. Whatever happened to Help the Aged?
The half-time whistle finally blew and it was all square at 0-0. We made a few changes and I suggested to Damian to give me another 15 minutes before deciding whether I should come off. It would depend on whether I was still breathing or if he happened to see me lying prostrate in the centre circle. As a commentator once said, it’s always best to have a fresh pair of legs up your sleeve!
We kicked off the second half and after about ten minutes we were in familiar territory and went 1-0 behind. We had made a good account of ourselves but it was important to keep our heads up, think positive and try and keep their score below ten! After all, a game’s not won until it’s lost!
A few positive, rallying cries such as “Heads up, lads!”, “Keep battling!” and “It’ll soon be time to hit the bar!” seemed to do the trick as we were quickly on level terms again. This time I’d managed to reach the centre circle as we moved the ball out of defence and received a pass. As I received the ball I got a shout from Phil McEvoy so I played it forward to him. He played a great one-two with Sam Fulleylove before laying the ball into the path of Stu White. Despite still in recovery from a hamstring injury he sprinted forward with the ball and buried it into the corner of their net; 1-1. It had been a classic training ground move which had the desired end result. I had been pleased to have been part of it but by then the rest of my parts had had enough so I was substituted! I’d done my best to give everything except nowadays I didn’t have everything to give!!
I think as a team we then made a tactical error by making wholesale substitutions and as a result we lost our formation as perhaps those coming on hadn’t been given clear enough instructions as to their role. As Terry Venables once said, “They didn’t change positions, they just moved the players around!” It was to be our undoing as they went ahead 2-1.
We tried to rescue the situation by making further substitutions and re-introducing a few who had come off, something allowed in the FAL. In all the confusion of so many substitutions we ended up with 12 players on the pitch! The ref hadn’t noticed so we decided to keep quiet! We thought about bringing on a 13th man but we thought that was pushing our luck! It still didn’t work as they grabbed a third goal and it was all over. We’d managed to come second again!
So it was to the Victoria Bar in Nerja to drown our sorrows with our opponents. Just to say a big thank you to them for their hospitality and the sandwiches they put on. They had also videoed the match which they showed on their big screen. Unfortunately, whoever was operating the camera must have had the DTs judging by the camera shake and as they didn’t actually film any of the goals it wasn’t so much match highlights as match lowlights! I don’t think it will threaten Sky or Setanta Sports!
The Man of the Match for us was a tough one as again our defence made a good account of themselves. However, in my humble opinion I thought Sam Fulleylove played well as an excellent midfield link between defence and attack with a few efforts on goal as well as being involved in our only goal. Again, well done to all who turned up and made the effort.
Back to the training ground and a rethink on our approach for the next match, which unfortunately I won’t be available for due to a prior commitment. A weekend at something close to a health farm with Arab baths and massage! Still, I’ll be there in spirit. Probably a large Brandy!!
Alick Howard
