This time last year we lost five on the bounce! So have The Grapevine F.C impoved?
After the excitement of our end of season victory it was time for our equivalent of the European Championships as the Cómpeta 7-a-side kicked off. Like all top pros, we had been in pre-season training during the month of June as we had continued with our Wednesday evening sessions at the Campo de Fútbol followed by a few pints in a local bar.
I turned up at the group stage draw at the Campo de Fútbol but it wasn’t quite the glamorous affair given up for the real Euros. After we all handed in our team details along with proof of payment the organisers sat down and began to work out how the competition was to run and when the matches might be played. It was great to see Spain win Euro 2008 but if this was anything to go by let’s hope they never host the competition.
The draw was finally made and ‘Grappybeeny’ were the last team out of the little Spanish boy’s grubby pocket and we were in Group B. Our first match was to be played the following evening against La Casona, at 10pm. 10pm! I’m ready for bed at 10pm.
The Grapevine v La Casona
First game and we were already panicking that we might be short of players. What’s going on? Maybe there were others who thought 10pm was past their bedtime. The only good thing was the sun had gone down and it was much cooler to be playing football. As most of the team are British the typical summer weather of our native isle may have given us an edge. You know, wind, rain and temperatures in single figures but we had to be grateful for small mercies.
It wasn’t long into the game as I was just starting to nod off that La Casona were a goal to the good. I was a little slow getting to meet a cross and their guy cut in front to score. WAKE UP TIME!
We had to fight hard to stay in the game and not long after their goal we were awarded a penalty, which perhaps was a little fortunate but little did we know, it was one of a few decisions which would go our way. Tony stepped up to take the penalty and we were on level terms 1-1. Shortly after we were awarded a free kick within range and again our dead ball specialist, Tony, lined up Ronaldo style to take the kick. It beat the wall and the crowded penalty area to find the net and we were ahead 2-1.
The referee had been card happy and handed out a few yellow cards for relatively minor offences so it was time to give him a real reason to brandish one. Sam, our goalkeeper, rolled the ball to me but it was short and their forward nipped in to head for goal. As he was about to shoot my previous incarnations of ‘chopper’ and ‘stopper’ combined as I floored him with a tackle from behind giving them a penalty. As one does, I gave him a friendly pat on the cheek, which he and a few of his team mates took offence to. Clearly a clash of cultural meaning. As they descended on me I was aware of a few slaps and kicks as I turned and walked away from the following melee but as I was informed later they struggled to land anything serious as they couldn’t reach. I wasn’t really surprised to receive a yellow card because in truth it should have been red for denying a definite goal scoring opportunity.
The penalty was duly despatched and half-time was 2-2. In the 2nd half we started a little slowly and were soon 5-2 down. We then got another free kick and again Tony was to take it. This one flew like an exocet into the top corner and he celebrated Nani style with a back somersault. When the whistle went our first match was recorded as 5-3 in goals to them but 5-3 to us in yellow cards.
The Grapevine v Canillas de Albaida
Our second match kicked off at a more reasonable hour of 9pm and Canillas de Albaida was known as the potential whipping boys. We made hard work of the first half and in many ways could have been behind had it not been for some good fortune and good goalkeeping by Sam. We managed to hit the post but little else.
In the second half we knew we had to up our game and as Sam collected the ball for a throw-in in their half I decided to make a rare foray forward into their box. Sam managed to spot the run and threw the ball in my direction. I managed to get my head onto it and with the deftest of touches managed to glance it into the far corner. The keeper was as surprised as me and didn’t even move, which wasn’t a surprise as it’s fair to say his youth had left him some years ago. By the time I realised I’d scored Sam was jumping at me in celebration. 1-0.
That gave us confidence and we managed to add to our total with two well taken goals by Ewan and Santi. But that header……..
We ended 3-0 victors so it was to Bar Venta de Palma to celebrate and talk endlessly about that header. My wife, Debbie, was less than happy to listen to me relive my goal when I got in just after 2.30am. You win and score a goal and there’s still no pleasing some people.
The Grapevine v Recreativo Juma
This match is only worthy of a few lines. We turned up and watched the other team play. The match ended 6-0, which would have been double figures had it not been for our ever improving goalkeeper, Sam Wilde. Man of the Match for sure. One of their team said he had been lucky, which wasn’t the case but Sam had frustrated them enough to draw the comment.
The Grapevine v Gurripuyis
This was a must win match if we were to stand any chance of reaching the semi-final stage. Stevie Twiselton was unavailable for selection as he was ‘beering and currying’ it in Nerja. There’s dedication for you. This team was younger, fitter and arguably more skilful than us but our plan was to keep tight to them and not let them play. We had strength and height on our side and we needed to use it. We pressured from the start and our plan started to work. They don’t like it up ‘em, these Spaniards. As well as stopping them playing we were playing well ourselves and moving the ball about. It paid off as Sam Fulleylove opened the scoring followed by well worked goals from Luis-Felipe and Ewan. We were 3-0 up and it wasn’t half-time. They were forced to play the long, high ball as we prevented them from passing the ball around. It seemed strange with me in defence at 6’3” and their tallest guy nearer 5’3”.
I had an opportunity to use my height up front from a corner and as the ball was knocked into the air I went to head it only to clash heads with Baldo, their defender. Momentarily I saw every constellation in the Milky Way. Half-time came as my vision of Capricorn was fading.
Second half started and we made wholesale changes. Twelve players had turned up so we needed to try and give everyone a game. Maybe we’d fallen into the same trap by making changes as we always do and they managed to score to make it 3-1. A shot deflected off my boot and looped over Sam. We responded with another goal from Vinny to make it 4-1 but later they managed a goal from a free-kick.
At 4-2 we got a corner and as everyone expected Phil to cross into the box, including their goalkeeper, he whipped the ball in which found the far corner of their goal. A deliberate attempt to score straight from a corner he claimed. Who was going to doubt it, it was a great effort. The match ended 5-2 and it had been our best performance by a long way. Stevie Twilselton’s place in the team was no longer assured as he tucked into his Chicken Tikka Masala.
The Grapevine v Marruecos
We were 3rd in Group B and needed to win this to give ourselves a chance of the semi-finals. Even if we won we were still relying on La Casona to drop points against Gurripuyis in the later match. Where have we heard that before about an English team in a tournament?
The Moroccans had one danger man, Karim, who we had to close down. Things started well for us as we closed them down and managed to deal with their danger man in midfield. We were soon 1-0 up as Ewan scored a well taken goal. We had them under pressure again and as the ball was crossed into the penalty area their defender panicked and handled the ball. Phil stepped up to take the penalty and we were 2-0 up. We weren’t playing as well as we did against Gurripuyis but we were winning. They began to get more of the ball as the half came to a close and we weren’t picking up their danger man who was now playing further forward. As they passed and dribbled into our area I managed a last ditch sliding tackle as their forward was about to shoot from close range. The signs were there and before half-time they halved the deficit and we went into the break 2-1 ahead.
As we started our half-time talk the shouts from the terracing continued as they had throughout the 1st half from the self-selected throng of ‘Ron Managers’. Everyone had a view as to how we should be playing but they all differed. Bloody touchline pundits!
They came at us in the 2nd half and we weren’t picking them up quick enough. From 2-0 behind they were soon level at 2-2 as a weaving run from their known danger man ended with the ball in our goal. We were losing our composure when we had the ball and they were also getting desperate for another goal as their man took a dive in the area. It scored 9.9, 9.5, 10 and 9.5 for artistic merit and I politely told him I was less than pleased with his ungentlemanly antics.
Then as I took a free-kick from our half I mis-hit it and as they won the ball they broke forward and we were 3-2 down. I took out my frustration on the goalpost. If only I’d kicked the ball as well as I kicked our post.
We pushed for an equaliser as Stevie Twiselton hit the bar with a header and both Ewan and Phil did the same with long range attempts. Their goalkeeper had looked suspect as he failed to keep hold of the ball but even he was more secure in his handling. Sam was kept busy and made some top saves and they also managed to hit the post. The match was building to a desperate but exciting finish. For the second match in a row I managed to clash heads with one of their defenders, which left me looking at the Milky Way again and their man with blood pouring from his head and requiring five stitches.
We got a corner late on which Santi ran over to take. He crossed the ball perfectly into the box which I met with my somewhat sore head and we were level 3-3. From head injury to headed goal, Gary Pallister eat your heart out. I’d gone some way to make up for my earlier mistake. We were desperate for a winner to keep our hopes of a semi-final place alive and as Ewan received the ball with his back to goal in their penalty area he was fouled from behind. The referee blew for a free-kick but when Ewan pointed out he was on his knees in the area he was persuaded it was a penalty. There were seconds to go as Vinny stepped up to take a real pressure penalty. He despatched it with great aplomb and we were back in the lead 4-3. It was a tense and frantic last few minutes and when it was pointed out the electronic timer on the score board was showing 42 minutes the ref blew for full time. We’d won and now had to hope La Casona dropped points.
It wasn’t to be as they thrashed Gurripuyis so our semi-final dream was over. Still, with 3 wins from 5 matches we had to be pleased and it was a great improvement on last year. Our Man of the Tournament had to be Sam Wilde, our hobbit sized keeper, who’d saved us on numerous occasions.
Once again it was to Bar Venta de Palma to talk late into the night of what might have been. I’m not sure whether my headache the next morning was down to the beer or my clash of heads.
